Brent Spiner, The Big Bang Theory, and The Feud
I’ll admit to knowing a lot more about Brent Spiner than anybody should. Chalk that up to my OCD interest in the character he played on Star Trek: The Next Generation — Lt. Commander Data — and half a lifetime of serial crushes. As a friend of mine once put it, “Data was a walking, talking wet dream.” True enough. But hey, my interest is not entirely prurient. Brent Spiner is a heck of a good actor too. More than that, he’s something else in real life. He’s funny.
Tonight, he appeared on The Big Bang Theory as himself in a cameo spot with Wil Wheaton in an episode entitled, ‘The Russian Rocket Reaction.” As I watched, a bit of stray trivia floated through my head and struck me as particularly interesting. Those of you who are Spiner junkies will probably agree. Allow me to elaborate.
There was something very odd about the autograph Wil wrote to Sheldon on the Wesley Crusher action figure. “To Sheldon, Sorry this took so long! Your friend, Wil Wheaton” Those words and the story tonight were familiar. A clear connection flickered to life in my brain. Sheldon’s ‘mortal enemy’ joke wasn’t entirely fiction. The story is eerily similar to a real incident that happened with Brent and a young fan in his sordid past. You can read the long, better-told version of the story here: The Feud Or, I could tell you the slightly shorter, dull version as follows:
It seems that some lady’s little brother dressed up as Data and attended a Star Trek convention in 1994. The kid was adorably cute, so Brent called him up on stage for a photo op together. This was back in the day when everybody waited a week for photo prints. A deal was struck between Brent and the kid. The boy would send the finished photo to Brent, then Brent would autograph and return it to him. And so, the precious keepsake was sent off to Los Angeles — they waited — and the expectant boy never saw the portrait with his hero again. What the hell? Did Spiner forget to check his mailbox daily? Did his word to the an innocent child mean nothing? Either way, after wallowing in their unforgivable disappointment for a while, the child’s family began to scream “douchebag!!” at the mere mention of Brent Spiner’s name. They seethed in anger for the better part of two decades over this. They lived to besmirch Brent Spiner’s name. This became their special purpose.
Finally, a friend of the family met Brent at a convention and told him about the disappointed boy who had since grown into a bitter, possibly large and muscular adult. Was it fear of being beaten up? Or, did something touch Spiner’s cold, metallic heart? We may never know. Some say a miracle happened. Spiner’s generosity expanded three sizes that day. So, he forked over a free autographed photo of himself along with an apology to the kid – the very apology you heard tonight on The Big Bang Theory! Well, close enough. Isn’t that exciting?!
The storyline went to Wil Wheaton, but the real story happened to Brent … uh, except for the “your friend” part. You see, Brent Spiner doesn’t just hand out friendship like poker chips. It’s not that simple. For that, he makes you promise to watch his web series, Fresh Hell on YouTube. It’s a small price to pay for rubbing elbows with greatness. Totally. It’s worth it.
